Points of Entry

Sometimes, the first line is the hardest.  I have compiled this list of stunning first lines, guaranteed to impress the most discerning of cat-fish in the river.  Enjoy!

“Shiloh awoke that morning with a sense of calm which had been evading her for some time.  By the time she stepped out of the shower, it was gone.”

“The Mathematics department had suffered a tremendous loss the previous year.  Milo, the department’s unofficial mascot, was flushed down the toilet after discovered his Rigor-stiff remains floating in the dirty water of a small bowl.”

“The smell of dreadlocks has always filled me with a sense of incredible alarm.”

“Superstition reigns supreme in North East Texas”

“Embarking on my first intercontinental journey, I was saddened to discover that I had left my lozenges in ‘my other pants'”

“Adjusting her glasses for the fifth time in as many minutes, Audrey realized that her head had shrunk the previous evening”

“‘Everyone calm down and get back to your desks’, Mr. Davis said in a stern tone, while pulling his pencil from the mangled body of a young Robin.”

“I really like Grape Nuts.”

“Seventeen years ago, I would have told you to go fuck yourself.  Now, I can say confidently, that you are one of the most astounding people I have ever met.”

“Crazy talk begets crazy talk; remember that.”

“One of my favourite words is cantankerous.  It is one of the few adjectives that describe my grandmother completely.”

“Your boots are over in the corner.  Come and help me finish up this crossword puzzle and then we can get some pizza.”

“Sixteen days.  No sleep.”

“That’s about the time Grand Marnier starts tasting a heck of a lot like cherry Coca Cola.”

“I’ve never been so lonesome.”

“Did you finish the final report, or am I gonna have to do it for you?”

“I caught her messing around with some televangelist.”

“Everything she says rhymes.  It was refreshing before, but now I just want to throttle her.”

“The park was darker than usual that night.”

“Penny rolled around in her own dirty laundry (the whites) for what seemed to be an eternity.”

“I suddenly noticed what appeared to be a bruise on the back of my leg.  Upon further inspection, I noticed it wasn’t a bruise at all; rather, a small spot of dirty, high viscosity oil.”

“Most of the time, I don’t know if you’re comin’ or if you’re goin'”

“That’s a rather shoddy rendition of an overplayed song, if you catch my drift.”

“Alabama is the sweetest state.”

“Come gather round vultures, and I’ll tell you a tale.”

“Cinnamon has never tasted so sweet.”

“The wind died down considerably as I finished the race.”

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2 Responses to Points of Entry

  1. Leslie says:

    My fave is, in fact, the first one! Hmmm… wonder if I would feel the same if it was placed lower on the list.

    “Everything she says rhymes. It was refreshing before, but now I just want to throttle her.”
    Ba-hahaaa! I can see her already, and I’m thrilled that I haven’t met her in person!

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